Read Luke 15:11-32 and look closely, deeply, at your life. Accept the past for what it is; we can't change it. In part it has made us who and what we are. Take advantage of the present and deepen your relationship with the Father. Getting too close to God can be scary. It's alright, He is always the constant. Trust, take baby steps, and continue to move closer in all aspects of your life and faith.